I'm BACK

Well...that was a depressing two months.

As you can probably guess, I've gained a little weight- 6 pounds, to be exact. I really haven't been off the wagon that badly!

At the end of January, I joined a new gym- which I love! With few exceptions, I've been going three times a week and hitting it HARD! I'm hoping that a little of the weight gain is muscle! I also joined Tae Kwon Do class, which I attend twice a week (some nights it is very easy, some nights it is a workout of I-want-to-throw-up proportions).

I think that I have been a little sloppy with my eating. I had a TOTAL BINGE last week with Easter. I hadn't lost control like that in ages. I basically sat down and ate a whole bag of Reese Cup Miniatures...so, the tendency to binge hasn't been COMPLETELY conquered. However, I am really proud of how well I've been able to get back in the saddle again. Being in control is normal now, instead of spiralling out of control.

I'm also learning how to handle compliments. I know that this has to sound ridiculous but, in all my past weight-loss experiences, the comments that I "Looked great" and "Was so thin" tended to push me off the wagon. It is like, I can't relate to myself as a normal weight person...but I am getting better. Sparkpeople has really helped me with that. I can present it as a "team" effort and deflect some of the attention- and also shift the conversation away from how I LOOK, to how I feel.

I think the other positive thing is how long this has taken. That's actually a positive in my case. I'm not expecting instantaneous success, so I don't have to claim instantaneous failure either.


In any event :D I still have 30 pounds to lose...I need to re-lose the first six (moan) and then see if I can be at my bikini-weight in time for St. Thomas. I think/hope that I can do it. Summer is always a great time for me to lose weight. The warm weather makes me not as hungry, I think- and there are less food-centric holidays to build a binge around.

Anyhow, my revised goals are to be in the 150's for England, and the 140's for Halloween (if I succeed, I'm going to buy a completely trampy costume ;)). Then, I want to be 130-135 for Christmas, because that is when we are going to St. Thomas and I have vowed to wear a bikini for once in my life!

The positive change that I have made this week is that I have drawn up menus. I think that having a menu will help me stop some poor, spur-of-the-moment choices that I have been making recently.